TATTOO: HEBREW

As I have previously mentioned in my blog, I don't just get ink for something to do. Let's be honest, having needles breaking your flesh repeatedly isn't the most enjoyable activity. While some aren't too painful, I could still think of other, less painful, things to do. And in case you weren't aware, tattoos don't come cheap either. Actually, let me rephrase that, good tattoos don't come cheap. For that reason, you don't see me with any tribal designs, some popular brand or logo, or various Chinese characters (no offense if you have any of these). Granted, the aforementioned tattoos can have some sort of significance or story behind them; I even know a few individuals like that. But, for me, there wouldn't be a point to them.

Today, we will pick up with the tattoo on my right forearm. More often than not, this is the tattoo I have random people ask me about. It may have something to do with the fact that it isn't in English. Or maybe it's the fact that most of my tattoos are covered and I don't walk around shirtless. When I inform them it's Hebrew, I get two common reactions. The first is a shocking look followed by the question, "Are you Jewish?" (this one never fails to amuse me.) After they come to the realization I'm not, they usually follow it with something like, "The Hebrew language is so beautiful, isn't it?" Remember, I'm a dude! Getting some lettering because it is beautiful isn't my style. While I want my tattoos to be aesthetically pleasing, how beautiful the letters are isn't in my criteria for choosing them. All of this was to tell you that I took a while to decide on this particular phrase. A lof of time was put into researching this and making sure I got it right. This was something, I needed to be constantly reminded of.

Permanently on my forearm is the phrase 'B'tzelem Elohim.' This Hebrew phrase, used in the creation account, is deep with meaning. Essentially, it is a summation of Genesis 1:26-28 where God turns his attention to the creation of man. When translated, at it's most basic level, B'tzelem Elohim means "created in the image of God." I realize this is a pretty basic truth; however, it's the most basic things we have the tendency to gloss over. Reality is that many of us struggle with this truth on a daily basis. Our understanding of its importance is lacking. And, let's be honest, this is a truth we all forget pretty day in and day out. My thinking, then why not get the constant reminder?

This phrase came to me at just the right time in life (funny how God does that). At the time, I was really struggling with some identity issues. To a point, I was unsettled about how things had been playing out lately. To be completely honest, life wasn't how I had expected it to be at that stage in life. I had been out of ministry for over a year, which was kind of rough for me. Afterall, that's why I went to college. I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do through most of my college career. But, this was making me question why I spent an exorbitant amount of money for that degree to just hung on my wall. Over several months, the questions began to surface. Did I totally misread God on my calling? Who am I without ministry? What am I really doing with my life?  Am I making a difference at all? Am I a disappointment to those around me?

Every time I look at this tattoo, I am reminded that none of that matters. What is truly important is the fact that I am created in the image of God. Not just any god, but the God. And my identity is solely defined by that reality. Nothing else! A glance at this tattoo eases the need I sometimes have to perform. It reminds me to take my focus off trying to please others and live in the reality that the only one worth pleasing is the one in whose likeness I have been created. And the funny thing is, because of this amazing thing called grace, that will never change...as long as I'm pursuing my creator.

SURRENDER

When I say the word surrender, what kind of images come to mind? For me, the first image is the guy against the wall, in the spotlight, with his hands and feet spread being frisked and handcuffed by the cops. I also envision the army, heads hung in shame, waving the white flag in defeat. And I think this is the idea many of us have when we think of surrender. Surrender is this negative thing for us! No wonder when we talk about surrendering our lives to God it seems like such a terrible ordeal. It’s as if our surrender to God is a punishment for all of these terrible wrongs we have committed. Like God's plan all along has been to make cookie-cutter molds of each one of us. To get us in line. To have us follow marching orders. None of that is, in essence, what surrender is all about.

I want to paint a different picture of surrender; but before I do that, we need to go over a few things. There are some lies about what it means to surrender that need debunked. Let me tell you what surrender is not. It's not about giving up my Sunday to go to church. It’s not entirely about activities I now avoid. It's not all about avoiding fun or certain people. Surrender is not about passivity, conservatism, or pacifism--or any other ism, for that matter.

Surrender, in reality is the solitary thing Christian faith comes down to. Something so simple, yet so profound; and not to mention, so freakin' difficult! How easy it should be for us to just surrender to the very God of the universe. The one who created everything--including you and me. The one with plans to prosper and not to harm us. The only one who is truly good. And the only one who willingly laid down his life for us!

Surrender--to relinquish control. Why is it so difficult? I'll tell you why it's so difficult--at least for me--because I no longer make my own decisions. Well, I guess I do, but it means it is first filtered through Godly counsel, Scripture, and perhaps God Himself.

Surrender is a proactive, conscious decision to align our lives with the teaching and life of Christ. Living a life of surrender is about learning to walk with God. It is about transforming and renewing us into what we were created to be. So, you see, surrender is much more of a positive thing than we realize. This may mean there are certain actions I do away with. I might even have to limit or avoid some behaviors. And to be frank, surrender may involve cutting off certain relationships.  Attitudes may need to be suppressed or put away entirely. But none of these is the goal of surrender! When viewed under this microscope, surrender really isn't about avoidance at all.  It is about learning to walk in fellowship with God. This means it is about giving up the normal, the ordinary, the mundane. It turns into laying aside my monotonous plans for life in pursuit of something bigger and better, far beyond myself.

With this view of surrender, it should become a little easier to do. To realize that God owes me absolutely nothing, but desires to give me everything! Allow me to take a moment and make this personal. Often, I have felt that God owes me, all because I accepted His call to ministry (very reluctantly if you know the story). Really? What better could I have done with my life? If anything, I owe God for making something of my life and giving me something real to live for. I owe him for not just the promise of new life, but the reality of the new life he has given me.

In light of this, I want to surrender more and more everyday!

PAIN

I would like to take this time to tell you about the most painful (physically) moment in my life. It wasn't in college when I broke my ankle in one of those stupid inflatables for kids. Nor was it any of my 8 tattoos--although the one on the inside of my bicep ranks right up there. No, the most painful moment of my life was born out of boredom and stupidity one evening in a friend's basement in high school. Before I go any further, I'd like to emphasize the stupidity of this and the fact that I was in high school (translation, I was naive). Here is where I should also preface this with the warning: Do not try this at home!

One night, in an un-sterile environment, one of my best friends pierced my nipple--yes, my nipple! I won't even go into the details, but I'm sure you can use your imagination and get an idea of how painful it might have been. It was so painful, in fact, that I was only able to pierce the one. Granted, I haven't experienced giving birth (nor will I ever experience it--just to clarify), but I might rank having your nipple pierced right up there with child birth on the pain scale.

If you are human, you likely aren't a fan of pain and suffering. If that is you, I am in the same boat. However, I read something a while ago that got me to thinking and is changing my perspective. I stumbled across a statement something along the lines of "the most powerful words in the English language are 'me too.'" Most of us don't wish one another to go through the same pain and suffering we experience, yet on the other hand it is extremely comforting to know someone else has been there. It makes the pain and suffering more bearable to know that you're not alone. That others have been there...and survived (or perhaps even thrived afterwards). The knowledge that there is hope makes whatever pain and suffering comes our way a little less, well, painful.

Even in our most painful experiences (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) none of us has even come close to the torture and agony of my savior. He was mocked, tortured and crucified. But even the physical and emotional pain combined didn't compare to the pain he experienced the moment his father turned away and withdrew for just a moment. Yet, Christ endured it all, as Scripture says "for the joy set before him...enduring its shame." I can't speak for you, but surveying the last 28 years of my life and the pain and agony (most of which I was responsible for myself), nothing comes close to what Christ endured. Granted, there were some pretty painful times; times I even thought God was absent, but in reality he was there! And I can't even begin to imagine (nor do I want to) how things would have turned out differently if God had turned away, like he did in that moment Christ was hanging on that cross for you and me.

And here comes the point to all of this. We, like Christ, are to endure the pain and suffering that comes. I have to tell you I'm not (nor is Paul) talking about suffering simply for the sake of suffering. There is no significance or joy found in suffering without a purpose. For example, starvation is not a positive thing. Our 3 for $3 challenge on the other hand, was a way we were able to "suffer" and catch a glimpse of what it's like to be hungry. The suffering had no meaning when it was separated from its purpose. The significance came when our pain and suffering gave us a bit of solidarity with those who go hungry on a daily basis. It was deep with meaning because it created (hopefully) a paradigm shift and drew us closer to the heart of God. It allowed us, to a point, to be able to say "me too!"

Not only are we to endure suffering, but we are to find joy in it as well. There is a big difference! I have endured plenty of pain. My countless hours in the tattoo chair, my relationship problems, and my rebellion from time to time will all attest to that. But I am unable to say I have found joy in all of it. However, there is a change rising within me. One that is allowing me to catch a glimpse of joy through some of my pain and suffering, because it is expanding my horizons and opening doors of ministry I never thought possible. The pain and suffering I have endured through my lifetime (which is minuscule compared to many) is developing within me a heart of compassion. I am able to see that while the pain and suffering was never God's plan, he is using it in ways unimaginable. I am still a long way off, but I find that in some ways, my pain and suffering allows me to relate a little more to Christ (which is weird to say, I know). I can tell you from experience, when it's all said and done that there really is joy found in that kind of suffering. I can't explain how it works, nor can I explain why it works. But I can promise you that this joy of knowing Christ, in his pain and suffering, is the only thing that will bring you through the messy parts of life in one piece.

Last, but certainly not least, you should know, the pain and suffering will come! It is inevitable. Of course, I don't need to tell you that because, you live on Earth and are already privy to this reality. As disciples, we can't say Jesus didn't warn us. He made it pretty clear, "if the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." There really isn't much more to say, other than perhaps "Knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect (mature) and complete, lacking in nothing." And it is through that pain and suffering we are united and are given a testimony and a witness which none can deny. It is this, according to Henri Nouwen, that allows us, like Christ, to be a wounded healer--meaning our "me too" moments allow us to help others through the healing process.

FEAR

When I was little--scratch that, 'cause I'm still only 5'4".  When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark. Any of you that know me will find this hard to believe since I am so rugged and manly, but it's true. At night, when I was heading to bed, I would turn off the light and sprint across my room. About three feet away from my bed, I would jump and launch myself directly into the middle of my bed. Why? Because I was certain there was something living beneath the box spring that would take out my feet and suck me under if I got too close in the pitch black. I am elated to report to you that this fear no longer holds me captive. I calmly walk to my bed and crawl under the covers every night--alone, without the use of a night light. You laugh now, but you would have developed the same fear being a small child and watching the movie Little Monsters.

We have a bad experience and, often times, allow it to shape and form the way we live our lives. All of our decisions in that specific arena of life are dictated by that one experience. That is what we call fear--a circumstance, situation, or outcome that causes feelings of dread or apprehension. Fear is the very thing that creates a paradigm shift and keeps us from taking similar risks again. To many, our fears may seem very plausible; and to a point, they may be. However, they move from the plausible to the implausible when we allow them to control and dictate the trajectory of the rest of our lives.

Fear is like a disease! It creeps in, often times unnoticed, and cripples us. It becomes detrimental and debilitating to our very existence. Granted, there is such a thing as healthy fear. To fear God is a healthy fear, according to Scripture. Healthy fear can keep us from making un-wise decisions. But most often, our fears would fall under the category of the unhealthy (even our fear of God has moved into the realm of unhealthy for many of us). As I already pointed out, fear becomes unhealthy when we give it control. It is this fear that makes someone sleep with the light on, never go outside, keep relationships on a superficial level, never commit to marriage, not share their faith. The fear of death would lie on the same playing field as the rest of these. I think you get the picture.

The sad reality is that this is where a majority of us live our life everyday. We live in a perpetual state of fear. This fear holds us back. It keeps us from pursuing things beyond ourselves--the very things we were created to do. When we give fear control, we live far less significant lives than we were intended to. Unfortunately, I am no different from the many. This is where my life has been spent the past several years. Far too long, I have allowed my fears to hold me captive. My fears have been determining the course of my life. Because of fear, I have been eeking my way through life, missing numerous opportunities. Well today, I say no more! No longer will my life be controlled by fear (and regret).

A big fear of mine has always been the fear of failure. By nature, I am a very competitive person. It is hardwired in my DNA. If I know I can't succeed, I usually won't even make an attempt. Knowing this, it is time I make a conscious decision to combat this fear. Here on out, I vow to take risks, even if they will inevitably end in failure. Afterall, I cannot predict the future, so I will never know the outcome until I make the attempt. For the last 4 years, this fear has kept me from pursuing the calling God placed on my life. What if I pursue my dream and fall flat on my face? Can I really make a go of it? Am I even gifted in this area? These are the questions that continually plague me. Please understand, I am not fishing for compliments or a pat on the back. I know the answer to these questions has less to do about me and my ability than my faith in God's ability.

My divorce brought a fear of rejection to the surface. Granted, most of us have this fear innate within us; but, for me, it grew exponentially when the one I vowed to give myself to heart and soul rejected me. Not that I'm the only one that has gone through this, or ever will go through this, but it hit me pretty hard. There was a sense that it was my fault; that I had pushed her away; that I was to blame. I lived with the tension of that fear and guilt for months thinking I wasn't deserving of love and wouldn't find it again. For the better part of a year I built up walls to keep any female at bay. I wasn't going to allow women to hurt me again. And to be completely honest, this is still something I have to be on the lookout for.

Again, these may sound like legitimate fears. But I want you to see why they are not ! In Scripture, John tells us that "perfect love drives out fear." The reason we fear is obvious—we lack perfect love. Since we are imperfect beings, we are incapable of displaying perfect love; however, you should know we are all capable of receiving perfect love that comes only from our heavenly father. If you and I would begin to trust that He knows what He is doing and has our best interest at heart, we could overcome our fears. The result would be phenomenal. It would change the way we make every decision (not to mention the way we see everyone else). His perfect love will drive our fears away. Then, and only then, can we face our fears head on!

KINGDOM COME

What do we mean when we talk about following Jesus? When we say we desire to follow Christ, what exactly are we getting ourselves into? Is it about going to church? How about reading and memorizing Scripture? Does following Jesus mean we manage our sin better? Pray more? How about getting plugged into community? Or, perhaps it is about something totally different! Something more encompassing than each of these individual disciplines. To answer what it means to follow Jesus, we must first determine what theme(s) are central to his message. If we can discover and implement the heart of Jesus, everything else should inevitably align itself.

If we were to read the Bible only to find the heart of Jesus, we would readily find it. Too often, we miss it because we are reading the Bible with our own agenda—to find an answer to our problem, to gain wisdom, to defend our cause (the Bible can do all of these things, but that is not the main purpose God has given us the written Word). God has given us his written Word, in order that we might catch a glimpse of his heart and his plan for his creation.

For starters, I'd like to tell you what isn't at the core Jesus' message. To begin with, it isn't about sin management. His sole desire isn't to keep us accountable to the law. The heart of Jesus isn't about judgment and condemnation. Nor is the core of his message about time or money management. As a matter of fact, Jesus' message is exponentially more others centered than me centered! It's not about church growth. You might be shocked to hear this, but the central message of Jesus isn't even about evangelizing the lost. While all of these are great things, Jesus had far less to say about these than the more pressing matters close to his heart. Don't get me wrong, everything I just listed is important in the life of a follower, but they are all subservient to the overarching theme of Jesus' life.

The central themes of his message are of love, grace and hope. At one point, Jesus tells us his purpose is to seek and save the lost (I've come to conclude he was talking more about redemption and restoration and less about evangelizing, so to speak). And his plan for that, was to walk with us. Take on flesh and live as we lived. To actually live a life of action, not merely theologize and debate the issues. Jesus lived a life worth emulating by humbling himself and serving the least in the kingdom (who we find out have always been the greatest). And his deepest desire was that this might teach us (those who have taken his namesake) only one thing. Jesus hoped we would learn to establish his kingdom here on Earth. And the only way to do that is to, first, love our fellow human beings. And second, to love God. Perhaps I'm off base to mention love for man before love for God, but I believe it is impossible to love God, whom we cannot see, if we care unable to love those we see face to face everyday. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that exact statement is found in scripture, so I must not be too far off base.

That is the core of Jesus' message. That is his very heartbeat. In case you missed it, let me succinctly lay it out for you. Jesus wants each of us to love as he loved--unbiased, unhindered, uninhibited. We begin to do this by developing a heart of compassion towards not only the marginalized and the less fortunate (whom I have come to find are pretty easy to love) but the religious, the Pharisaical, the pious, and those who feel entitled and far superior to you and me as well (let's be honest, those are the ones we find more difficult to love). It is only when I begin to do this that other things, like tithing, avoiding temptation, sharing my faith, etc. become easier. Jesus' kingdom would come much quicker and easier, if only you and I could learn to love as he loved--in selfless action, not just word!

TECHNOLOGY

I enjoy technology--for the most part. Actually, a more correct statement would be that I enjoy technology when it works as intended. Technology and I have a love-hate relationship. Technology definitely makes life easier, but I have begun to see the tendency it has to complicate things as well. In spite of all this, I have to admit that I may be a technology junkie--and I don't even have a crackberry. It seems I can't be anywhere without making use of some sort of technology. And heaven forbid I am somewhere without it, I usually feel pretty disoriented. Lately I have discovered it is pretty difficult to disconnect. This presents a huge problem. But it is making me re-evaluate things and hopefully make some changes.

Most of us, I fear, have become far too dependent upon technology. Can you remember the phone number of some of your closest friends--without looking at your cell phone? If the Internet goes down for an extended period of time, do you become less productive? Does the television need to be on while you are preparing meals? While you make your commute to work, how much of that time is the radio infiltrating your ears? Do you actually interact with the people in front of you, or are you preoccupied with the mobile web? Can you make use of a map if your GPS were to stop working for some reason? I hope the picture is becoming clear by now.

Technology can be a great tool; but that means it can be a great hindrance as well. If I am honest with you, I have to admit that technology has had the tendency to be a hindrance for me. When it comes to friends and family, I have used technology as an excuse to disconnect. Phone calls, text messages and emails have become an acceptable replacement for face time. I can make shallow connections with numerous people, all at the same time, without leaving the comfort of my own home. If I'm avoiding someone, caller ID allows me to screen all of their calls (yes, I have done this once or twice...or more). When it comes to text messaging, if I told you I never received it, you would likely accept that as a reasonable excuse since technology doesn't always work as intended. You might think it was still floating around somewhere in cyberspace.

When I am actually in the presence of other human beings, technology has a tendency to distract me. I can be sitting across the room from someone half-heartedly engaging while I am busy texting someone. It seems I can't even get away from technology when I go out to eat--everywhere I look there is a TV mounted to the wall with at least one show I don't mind watching. When it comes to spiritual disciplines, sadly I have embraced technology as a legitimate distraction. For example, when I decide to sit down and spend some quiet time with God, numerous technological devices are at my fingertips. The remote control lays there beckoning me to pick it up. While my cell phone is on vibrate, it makes just as much noise and is just as distracting as if it were to ring. When it comes to every avenue of life, I am finding it more essential that I be intentional and disconnect from technology. Only when I disconnect will I be able to truly connect!

Bottom line is that I can make excuses and blame technology for so many things. Reality is that the only thing I can blame is not a thing at all, but a person. And that person is me! Technology is a neutral medium that can be used for both good and bad. What I do with it and how I make use of it is totally up to me!

(Of course, the irony is that I typed this on a computer and posted it on both my blog and facebook for all the world to see. And we all know, everyone in the world is dying to read my latest blog update.)

DECISION

Let's be honest, some of us are terrible at making decisions. We all know people that couldn't make a decision if their life depended on it. If you were to leave the decision on where to have dinner up to them, there is a possibility you might starve. During those times, I often wonder what is going through their mind that makes it so difficult to decide. More importantly, I wonder what happens when the decision that needs to be made is much more significant, say for example which job to take, where to move, whether or not to marry this or that person, etc.

We are bombarded with decisions around every corner. Some of them really have no bearing on how our day or even our life will play out (i.e. what to eat for dinner). However, there are many decisions we make that have huge implications on life. These decisions will effect every decision that follows and will change the entire outcome of our life. How we respond to each of these decisions we encounter is of utmost importance. I also believe that our response to these decisions has a lot more to say about our faith than we probably realize.

As Christians, we spend a majority of our time waiting on God (and if you've read my post on waiting, you know this is something I'm not great at). We can all think of instances in Scripture in which individuals were told to wait on God. The disciples were told to wait for the Holy Spirit. David waited patiently (sometimes) for God to make Him king. The Israelites waited for guidance and direction (again, sometimes). The authors of Lamentations, Psalms, Hosea, and others encouraged us to continually wait for God. Although waiting is a Biblical principle, I often wonder if it is possible we have taken it a little too far when it comes time to hunker down and decide.

Do we really need to wait on God before we make any decision and take action? Does God really have something to say about everything in life? Is it necessary everything is filtered through prayer? Or in some instances, do I just need to make a decision and take action? My answer to all of these is both yes and no! In the following few paragraphs, I am going to lay out three different types of decisions and how we are to respond.

First off, there are the decisions that should be quick and easy. I believe God’s Word is clear on many things. We should avoid sexual immorality. We should encourage one another. We should feed the homeless. We should share his message. Do we really need to wait on God to give us direction on whether or not to do things such as these--the Biblical mandates Christ has given us? Probably not; because, he has already given us his answer via Scripture. And let's not forget that He has blessed us with common sense (well, some of us at least). So, these decisions shouldn't require a waiting period. And let me add to this category, decisions on what to eat for dinner, what color of car to purchase, etc. Decisions like this just require that we make a decision and live with consequences (both good and bad). These decisions I refer to as the "just make a decision" decision. And let's be honest, to say we need to pray about these decisions is just a delay tactic!

For some Biblical examples of these types of decisions turn your attention to the creation account, the words of Jesus found in Matthew 28, and Paul’s writing found in Philippians 4:8-9. In the first passage we find that Adam and Eve, in the garden, have been given one “No!” and what seems to be a limitless number of yes'. There is no need to ask God and wait to see if the fruit from each tree is acceptable to eat. They already have the answer. The second passage is often referred to as 'the Great Commission.' Jesus' words, 'therefore, go...,' couldn't be more clear. Not wait. Not pray about it. Just go, and make disciples. Now for the final passage. 'Whatever' is the key word here. In two verses it is said seven times. Again, the possibilities are endless. Think about and do anything that is true, honorable, etc.

The second type of decision is the "wait on it" decision. I can't deny the fact that there are many things the Bible is unclear on. It is in those areas, I know waiting on God is a must! And for those decisions, waiting should be coupled with prayer. The Bible clearly tells us that prayer should be our first response. And that we should be in prayer continually. If you want a list of these types of decisions, I can't give them to you, because they will be different for different people. The important thing is to make prayer a priority with these kinds of decisions. However, the key here is that at the time of decision, make a decision, don't wait until then to pray about it. If you have spent time leading up to decision d-day, you should be able to comfortably make a decision. God has hopefully given you direction; if not, perhaps this decision has just turned into the third type.

Finally, the third category of decisions we must make. These decisions are kind of like a walk in the dark. We can't deny there are times in all of our lives where God doesn't give us clear direction, yet a decision is required. More often than not, these decisions will have time tables on them. And in these cases (and all cases), indecision is a decision (and it's usually the wrong decision). While some people may argue that something on a time table isn't God ordained, I would disagree. This is where the whole concept of faith comes into play. Sometimes we have to make decisions based on what little knowledge we have.

You will find Paul and Silas making these kind of decisions in Acts 6:6-10. Even though they didn't have clear direction, they trudged forward in faith, that somehow, someway, God would make things apparent. And when they were headed in the wrong direction, Scripture tells us 'the Spirit of Jesus stopped them.'

It is these times God builds our trust. These decisions teach us that God really does "work things out for the good of those who are called according to his purpose." While it may be difficult to take that step not knowing where it will lead, we need to realize that even if it is wrong, God has the ability to fix and reconcile. If we are seeking God, He will direct our steps. Even in the midst of indecision and wrong decisions, God is sovereign. So, if you are still waiting on God, perhaps he is waiting on you.